I was in a recent conversation with someone about the notion of paying it forward. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, that idea that when benevolence has come to us that we take it forward into the world rather than paying it back.

I found myself telling a story from a very long time ago when I had been given a particular arrangement with an organization I was doing some work for. They were paying me no matter what I did. I was on retainer, first time ever. And it really disturbed me because actually, I was being paid and I wasn’t really delivering anything, although that was the agreement. It was disturbing because I had always been oriented around making sure that I was giving tit for tat, like for like.

I was talking to my mentor about it, and he said something interesting. He said, “First of all, Ron, the nature of the world is generosity and reciprocity.”

And I said,” Okay, Sam, say more?”

He said,” Well, here’s what I mean, the universe doesn’t pay back directly. That’s the problem you’re running into. What happens is, it’s a reciprocal universe. It’s a generous universe that when we receive, that’s a payment for something that came from some other direction. So…” he said to me directly, “Ron, you do a lot of service in the work. Service work in the world, partly because you’re in recovery, partly because that’s the nature of your social work model. All the universe is doing is paying you back from benevolences and gifts, goods that you have delivered elsewhere.”

It was a blow away concept. See, I guess I always assumed, in my ignorance, that if I gave to you, you would give to me, and therein lies the challenge. What’s far more comforting for me today is the idea that we give and the universe or Spirit, or however you like to define it, somehow or another, it gets registered and somehow or another, it gets paid forward, paid out, moved around, brought back, circled around in whatever ways it does.

Here’s why that mattered. I stopped expecting it to be tit for tat, like for like. I just decided it made sense to be part of the generous, reciprocal universe and trust that somehow or another, all these things work themselves out.

Far less stress. It made it a lot easier for me to just give as freely as I’m able to give. It’s really been kind of a life changing perspective.

You might want to consider it, “What if the universe really is not only generous, but reciprocating, just not in the ways we may think you.”