Gifts and Spirit

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An Online Dialogue with Chuck

Sometimes it happens that a blog provokes an interaction that is just too good to miss. My friend, Chuck, has been at the center of several of these, and in this case, in response to a provocative post titled, “The Power to Choose.” In that post, I share a conversation at a Grits Bar in Greenville, SC where another friend, Michelle, grappled with me and the idea of free will and the power to choose.

Let’s be clear: most of us are really convinced we are the decider, and thus, the one who chooses. It’s commonly agreed across cultures. Yet upon examination, especially in light of evolving brain research, it is clear that we are not in charge of ourselves or our lives in the ways we would like to believe.

It’s a theme that came out in my novel, A Killer’s Grace, as seen through a metaphor from advanced psychology. We humans are actually like a monkey sitting atop an unconscious tiger racing through the jungle of reality. At every point, the monkey (you or me) is telling itself over and over and over again that we are in charge. (As an aside, a friend in recovery once asked, “What the hell are we supposed to do then?” To which I replied, “Try to pay attention, lean to the left or right to stay on the tiger, and watch for when to duck to avoid being hit by an overhanging branch.”)

With that as context, let’s come back to Chuck who had this to say in response to the blog. “I love that question. Do I have free will or not? I try to pray before I make a choice. Not as often as I should, but it’s as if I am guided when I try to listen. Is it free will or not? Or, am I actually just tuning in to what is unfolding deep within me?”

That got me started, as some provocative items do.

“There’s a guy named Wayne Liquorman, who says what we ought to do is a really good inventory of our ability to act upon what we think we decide. Or conversely, to look at our actions to see if we decided, or they just happened. He contends we will often find there is an illusion of power to choose, like when things go as we plan, and we determine it works, but upon deeper reflection we find it does not.”

“I do the same thing you do. Sit with it in contemplation and see if the way is made clear. I figure if it’s not made clear then at least I’ve listened for guidance.”

“I’m especially intrigued by the brain research that shows a decision made unconsciously as evidenced in brain activity on an MRI that is followed a few seconds later where we become aware of the decision, at which point we say, ‘I did that.’ I wonder if we have not been created and/or evolved that way so we have a greater sense of our own agency, which is useful on planet earth.”

Chuck responded almost immediately. “I think of all the decisions that happened to attend the United States Military Academy, and all the alignments that needed to be done to get me to where I am now. I know I didn't do it on my own. Somehow, I was guided along the path. We are all blessed.”

No disagreement. Somehow we are guided along the path. Somehow we find our way.

Seeing True™

In my heart of hearts, here's what I think is true. '

Spirit honors and responds to what we believe to be true in the core of our being. That is not the same as what we think, which is really quite superficial when compared to deep currents within us, currents of which we may not even be aware, currents deep beneath our thoughts.

For example, if deep down inside we trust that somehow all is well, Spirit responds accordingly to that. We would have greater “faith” demonstrated. On the other hand, if in our core we believe things are unsafe, Spirit appears as fear and self-protection.

The evidence that I’ve collected over many years would seem to be consistent with these idea. (In fact, I even recorded an audio set to capture the ideas, The Way of Spirit.

Then again, these may be nothing more than self-indulgent thoughts. We really don’t know, do we?

Regardless, I once had a preacher tell me that the story of Jacob being crushed after wresting with the Angel of the Lord was proof that our inner struggles are rewarded. After all, Jacob was renamed Israel, and a great nation was founded upon him.

I like that idea.

Seeing True™ in Action

It all begins with our willingness to explore the evidence of our lives. Nothing can convince us more readily than our own real examples of whether we are the decider and the actor, or simply the beneficiary of decisions and action that is ever in our favor.