Enlightened Self-Interest

A moment of clarity came in a workshop I was leading on meditation and self-realization. I know, heady stuff. Still, it was a very fruitful session with nineteen bright, engaged students.

We were discussing self-centeredness. The conversation was steering toward the idea that serving others was the solution. Then Josh spoke.

Josh was the youngest one present, only twenty-two years old. Everyone loved him because of his affable nature, but no one expected him to possess such wisdom as he displayed that day.

“I don’t know,” he began. “I can’t stop thinking about when I was coming into the Center for the workshop. I opened the door for a couple of the women here.” He looked at Angie and Theresa, and smiled. “Anyway … I’m realizing I didn’t actually do it for them. Opening those doors was really a way of getting them to say nice things to me, and hopefully about me.”

A large silence filled the room until Matthew spoke. “Well crap, why would I do anything unless there was a payoff for me?”

The laughter that filled the room was heartfelt. The truth had been uttered. Why would we do anything other than that which serves us well? Isn’t everything ultimately a factor of whether it is to our benefit? Do any of us really have altruism within us?

That was the tone of the conversation, and the examples were entertaining.

One of the women thought that caring for her kids when they were infants was other-serving. Josh challenged her by asking, “Could you live with yourself if you neglected them? I mean, isn’t it still self-serving to some degree?”

Another brought up Mother Teresa’s work in the most impoverished communities. To which another cited Anthony de Mello from his book Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality, “But didn’t she also do that because it pleased her to do so? Or because she thought she was serving God according to her values?”

It was a far-ranging conversation that eventually arrived at the notion of enlightened self-interest, which in short proposes that “persons who act to further the interests of others (or the interests of the group or groups to which they belong), ultimately serve their own self-interest.”

To put that as a simple question: Do any of us ever do anything that does not somehow align to our own perceived self-interests? And to add the follow up questions: Could it be that it really is nothing more than having awareness of those self-interests, and not fooling ourselves into thinking we are virtuous?

Then one more matter came to the fore, this one from Angie who observed, “Seems to me that we couldn’t see the world any other way than our own ego-centric way. Even if I wanted to, I can’t see it how you see it. I can at least consider how you experience it. I can listen. Probably I can empathize. But come on … everywhere I go there I am.”

Just before we went on a break, Tony offered up a question. “Isn’t this all like arguing about those angels on the head of a pin? What difference does it make?”

Seeing True™

Once we have seen the truth, we can never unsee it.

Since every action proceeds from what and how we see,

we can never act the same again.

Seeing True™ in Action

Here’s a fine awareness raising opportunity:

Take any situation you are presently facing, and consider your possible actions. Look at each in light of how your possible decisions will serve your own interests.

See if you can - in good conscience - choose an option that doesn’t serve you well.

What does the exercise tell you about you own self-interest?

Could it be that that in itself is enlightenment practice?