What If Culture War is Really a Battle of Perception?

In a recent conversation with someone of a different political orientation, I was really struck by what they perceived, and thus believed to be true. They explained to me how certain “others” were the cause of any number of societal and cultural ills. As I listened, I was really amazed by not only how off base were their facts, but by their certitude, vehemence, and vitriolic words.

It was one of those cases where there was little reason to engage, or to probe. Sometimes you just know there no point in making an effort to cross a vast divide. Yet as I paid close attention to their complaints I arrived at an interesting awareness.

They really believe their discomfort and discontent is being caused by “others.” In that scenario, every bit of data or information they may be collecting merely affirms their uneasiness, which in turn affirms their beliefs.

That was interesting enough, but a short while later I had another awareness. It comes from wisdom from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

Having a constant battle with those we perceive to be our “enemies” comes at a massive psychic cost, to say nothing of the very real social costs of the great divide we experience.

Until we are no longer willing to pay the price, there can be no solution. Yet when we determine to move beyond it, then a solution can arise.

What if that solution begins by hitting a psychic bottom, that moment where we are so aware of the cost, that we are willing to let go of not just who is right or wrong, but likewise willing to do whatever is needed to get out from under the burden.

Now it becomes possible for a range of approaches: forgiveness, letting go, reconciliation and acceptance. Maybe even a space can emerge for compassion and non-judgment.

Then emerges a new way, a better way … of action.

Of course, the problem remains how to allow for new information or possibility to enter our thoughts and understanding. That continues to point us to hitting bottom, the unfortunate but highly effective moment of inflection, when cost, pain or suffering are no longer acceptable.