Thunderbolts and Epiphanies

The purpose of love is not to protect you from hardship or sorrow,

but to nurture you to grow as a result of them.

Guidance for Caitlyn from her Guardian Angel

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Say what you want about the idea of guardian angels and guides, but over many years now I’ve heard of examples such as this one by my friend and client, Caitlyn. There is a resonance to them, and even if it were true that they are being channeled from our own highest selves, they can have profound impact on the person who hears or experiences them.

Caitlyn has been going through a very challenging time in the face of the demands of the culture around her, which includes being on the front lines of the public health response to the coronavirus. For reasons that will never be clear, it coincides with disruptions in her living circumstances, difficulties with an aging parent with dementia, the death of a beloved dog, and more.

Yet, she gets great credit for resilience, some of which is buoyed by an intriguing history of seemingly near-impossible instances of strangers rising up to protect her or rescue her from life incidents. So when she hears or senses guidance, she is inclined to listen.

This particular instance spurred us into an appreciation for the strange ways that guidance comes to us. It mirrored an experience on the same day with Anita, another friend and client, who has had her own struggles. The message she received came via a friend who reminded her, “Greatness isn’t sexy, it is dirty, hard work. Most of us don’t want it when we realize what it requires of us.”

In Anita’s case, the response is similar to Caitlyn. To use the words of the Buddhist, master teacher Pema Chodron, she is “leaning into the sharp points.” The result is stellar progress on her growth trajectory.

Isn’t it interesting that the ways that our most valuable lessons come are rarely of the placid variety? We seem to learn through thunderbolts, sometimes with pain and suffering, and just as often with epiphanies that turn us in mid-step. Transformation is like that: disruptive, disconcerting, and disorienting.

No wonder our egos are so insistent on maintaining a status quo, which can include denial and delusion that can lead to unfortunate outcomes.

What then are we to do? How can we navigate given all the challenges that seem to be a part of human realities?

I call back now to 1985 when I was amid the great disruption that redirected my entire life. It came about through alcoholism that exploded my life including my marriage, health and career. For a time it was so disturbing that frequently I entertained ideas of suicide.

One day as I sat bereft and despairing, hugging my two dogs to both sides of my chest as I sobbed through the deepest of sorrows, I heard a still small voice that I can remember to this day.

“It’s okay, and you’re okay.”

I still remember the feeling of the peace that fell upon me. It was just before those difficulties catapulted me into what would prove to be long-term sobriety. It was that sobriety that brought me deep into spiritual practices that saved me. Those spiritual practices transformed me, remade me in most profound ways.

Let’s be honest - we do not know from where such guidance comes, yet it is not uncommon to hear such stories as these.

I’ll return to the question from a few paragraphs earlier: What then are we to do?