Beyond Profanity and Beyond Harm

“By virtue of Creation, and, still more, of the Incarnation,

Nothing here below is profane for those who know how to see.”

Pierre Tielhard de Chardin

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It may be the hardest thing in the world for most of us to imagine: just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so too is profanity. Largely, this is a challenge for us because we see apparent ugliness or devastation, we feel injured or heartbroken, and we assume the source to be outside ourselves. We project our wounds and find apparent profanity to blame.  

Interestingly enough, the research of Brene Brown concludes that as soon as we find a cause, something to blame, our ability to look any further ceases. We lose our curiosity and with it, our ability for inquiry.

Something in the world affects us, and we project meaning and conclusion upon it. Then because we have reached a conclusion, we explore and examine no further. We cannot then find how our interpretation of the experience allows it to affect us as it has.

This is not to say we should not be affected, or should not have feelings when we are affected. Instead, it suggests we need to look closely for understanding.

Usually when I speak of these things, someone will pick some horrific circumstance and hurl it at me to prove to me that there are profanities: the Holocaust, a worldly cataclysm like a tsunami or earthquake, or pedophiles and serial killers. The point is not to deny that these apparent profanities have terrible implications, but to seek to understand deep within ourselves why they affect us as they do.

For example, when we are wounded by the misdeeds of another person or someone we love, we are hurt, perhaps even devastated. In order to stop the pain, or to find some reason that allows us to bypass the pain, we project our pain upon the apparent cause and label it evil, or wrong. We judge the cause or the purpose. While that seems to absolve us of our pain, in fact it takes us away from it. It’s as if we place a psychic bandage over a deep wound and assume it is resolved. 

Also when I speak of these things, someone invariably assumes I mean that no action should be taken. That is hardly the case. Instead, we look to determine action by first moving beyond our woundedness. Only then can we find any source of wisdom to guide us in our action.

A Seeing True Epiphany™

Hurt people hurt.

Hurt people hurt people.

Hurt people perpetuate the cycle of hurt.

The ripple of hurt people hurting becomes unending.

What are we to do? How do we find heaven on earth without eliminating profanity?

First, attend to our own wounds. Not just in the present, but all those injuries that have brought us to the present moment.

Simultaneously, take every possible act of forgiveness, compassion and understanding. Especially for those people, acts or circumstances that seem most profane, most unacceptable.

Also at the same time, for any occasion where we see another being wounded, take a deep breath, lean into our own heartache and avoidance, and offer what solace we are able to provide.

The only way to heal is through every wound. 

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Resource recommendations:

Unattended Sorrow – Recovering from Loss and Reviving the Heart by Stephen Levine

What’s in the Way is the Way by Mary O’Malley