Sometimes there are stories, experiences, that we have that become really, really important in our lives. It happened to me a number of years ago when my daughter, Brianne, who goes by Bree, was in film school. I remember the day well.

I guess I have to say that Bree and I sometimes had some real difficulties with interacting, which is mostly about me and my overbearing nature. We got twisted up in something; I don't remember the details. But she put her hands on her hips, and she looked at me and said, "You know, my life has a plot?"

"Yeah?" I replied.

"Sometimes there's not a role for you in my plot."

A long pause followed as I stared and say to myself. "All right, where are you going with this?"

"Do you know what happens when you insert yourself into my plot? When there's not a place for you?"

"No, Bree, but you're gonna tell me, aren't you?"

"It screws up my plot up. I end up having to fight you rather than whatever else it is I've got to deal with."

I got it. I got it in a deep head-to-heart kind of way; a learning opportunity. This is like that line from Khalil Gibran's "Prophet", when he's talking about our children, that they're not our children, for the they are the future's children. They're not ours, it is not our path - we need to get out of their way.

I know some of you aren't parents, though some of you can probably relate if you are. But it's the same story in all our relationships. Oftentimes, we just can't stay out of things that aren't for us to be in. When we don’t we cause a great deal of damage as a result.

So you might want to ask yourself, before you open your mouth, before you engage, before you get started, "Is there actually a role for me in this plot? Should I just keep my damn mouth shut, smile, be pleasant, cooperate, and let them work it out for themselves?"

That's really powerful medicine.

It is also really, really humbling when you realize that you are causing people problems because you can't stay out of the way.