A number of years ago, I had a longtime mentor, a guy named Sam, who I sometimes called “Master Samwise”. He was an important part of my recovery from alcoholism, and eventually became my life mentor. One day, out of the blue, he said to me, "Ron, I think you ought to become a hospice volunteer."

I replied, "Where the hell did that come from?"

Sam said, "Well, you know, I've been studying you a whole bunch. And one thing about working with people who are dying is you can't expect anything back from them. It's a completely selfless act."

It stopped me in my tracks, psychically. So I asked, "What's this about?"

"Well Ron, you know, you're a little bit wrapped up in yourself. It would be kinda good for you to get over yourself, maybe focusing on people who are dying will do that?"

Well, that's a little embarrassing to admit, but I realize I'm not alone. And he proved to be right. It turns out that when you're working with people who are navigating their last few months, weeks or hours, all the attention is on their death and dying process. It's really remarkable.

I'm no longer a hospice volunteer, but I was for a number of years. I know talking about death and dying is probably making some people uncomfortable, even though it's pretty darn normal as part of life. There's nothing better than finding a place like that, where you can literally set aside whatever agenda you have, including your good virtuous things.

I'd love to tell you I came to hospice work because I'm a really cool, virtuous guy. The truth of the matter is I was rather absorbed with myself. Working with people who were dying broke through to some really important things. There were some remarkable stories, and some remarkable experiences.

There's nothing quite like hanging out with someone and just being available, so that they can go through the process they need to go through.

I'd say maybe you should try it, but I'm pretty sure most won't. Maybe you can find some other way to get over yourself.

It's a really beneficial practice.