A Problematic Encounter

It was an interesting experience at a conference that got me started. Actually, it was a zealot, a dogmatic guy trying to convince me that his understanding of some spiritual principles was valid, and that mine was not.

I tried to listen and be patient, because patience is indeed a virtue. Yet, this was one of those people who becomes more and more insistent, and psychologically invasive. The kind of guy and interaction that causes you to start looking for an exit. On this day though, this was that guy who one way or another is committed to getting a reaction out of you.

Some years ago, one of my mentors taught me that our first response to any problematic interaction needs to be considerate. It’s the least we can do for starters. Then if necessary, we’ll need to be reasonably assertive in order to respond effectively and appropriately if they continue. Finally, if the other person just can’t read the social cues, we should feel free to do whatever is necessary.

I did not challenge him to a psycho-spiritual throw down, but the moment came where I could no longer wait for a pause in his riff because it would never come.

“Look, I don’t give a damn what you believe or why. Nothing you can say can talk me out of my own lived experiences.”

“But …” he attempted to reply as I turned away.

“Dude, you got some shit in your head, which is not my problem. Go perp someone else.”

Then I walked as far away as I could while still staying at the event. It was not what the Buddhists would call a “skillful moment.”

Regardless, when I went to my journal later to write about the experience, it proved to be very fruitful.

What I Know and Yet Do Not Know

As an experience junkie and wanderlust, and a long-time practitioner of meditation, some of which has been pretty deep, I have had mind-altering and transformative experiences. Past-life regressions have fundamentally changed the way I view my life. A few instances of disembodiment - not unlike what trauma victims describe, though mine were not traumatic - have shown me that I am not this body, or this personality. Strange impressions from depth meditation and breath-work have shown me that so much of what I thought to be true is not, and so much of what I could not fathom is true. Uncanny feedback from any number of teachers, psychics and others have rearranged my thinking about most everything I once believed to be true. Direct contact with intimate friends who I trust implicitly have convinced me people really do have experiences that are unexplainable by any rational point of view … visions and insights and awarenesses. And yes, I have seen people transformed in miraculous ways, some of which would seem to be impossible.

For the record, none of this has been through the use of mind-altering substances, which given my many years in recovery are simply not an option.

The most tragic experiences have been those where through intimate connections I have come to deeply understand and empathize with those damaged by violence (even low grade violence that can traumatize), those still carrying what are now called the epigenetics of racism, and those bearing the marks of inhumanities visited upon them.

How can we not be changed by these experiences?

Some argue these things are not factual, or cannot be substantiated. Fair enough. At the same time, we cannot prove that life force exists, and yet there is life.

At some point we must venture beyond objective reality and indicators.

It is there that with enough practice it becomes clear that we can know with certainty that which is true, and that that co-exists with not knowing, and not knowing how we know.