A Place for Jumping Off

“Why is it so difficult to accept that each of us is the architect of our own experience?”

~ Ronald Chapman

*****

It was in a conversation with a long-time professional client that a truth appeared. Shannon has been doing tremendous work over several years getting to the root of her life-long, recurring challenges of fighting the systems of her profession and the world. The truth is she’s really good at it, and has been rewarded and recognized extensively for it.

“Ron, I’m just really tired of this shit,” she told me. “I’m exhausted.”

“Yeah, I can see it in your eyes. Perhaps you are finally at the jumping off place.”

“What does that mean?” Shannon asked with genuine curiosity and not even a hint of defendedness. That told me she really was ready.

“Well, Ram Dass said that every path has to come to an end because it cannot take us where we next need to go. I think you’ve known that, but what’s been missing is that exhaustion. There’s a powerful line in Alcoholics Anonymous that captures it perfectly.”

“Having seen the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it.”

“See, Shannon, it’s one thing to be worn out by our patterns. It’s an entirely different thing to see how futile it has become. Not because we’ve failed, but because we’ve exhausted that way of being and it has exhausted us. We’re finally ready to let go. Hence the jumping off place.”

“Is that like hitting bottom?” she countered.

“Yep! Well seen and well said. Until we’ve reached the point where are ready and willing to relinquish the old way, there is no way a new way can find us.” Then I laughed, “That’s the Jesus line about new wine not being possible with old wine skins. Or AA also says until we let go of our old ideas, there is just no way to go forward.”

She was very still. The information was being reflected into her very deeply.

“So what is it that I’m letting go of?” she asked.

I shrugged. “Based on what you’ve been exploring, I guess the summary description would be your drivenness. And the self-will that propels it.”

She nodded with a studious look on her face.

“Of course, it’s because you perceive reality as a set of problems that you must solve. Which is a life-long story, isn’t it?”

Now Shannon laughed. “Oh yeah! But what’s it going to look like on the other side?”

“We can’t know what a new paradigm will be, only that it will be an improvement. Once we finally and fully let go of the old one.”

“Okay. Let’s do that. I’m ready,” Shannon affirmed with enthusiasm.