How to Be Effective With Others No Matter What

Oh Ron, what do you do when you are dealing with foolishness and stupidity? Is it even worth trying to deal with them? ~C

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There is always plenty of foolishness to go around! To be honest, sometimes we are the fools. With that as a starting point, here is my response to C’s questions with which this blog began.

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Whenever I get tweaked, I have to remind myself that everyone is always doing the best they are able, even if I can’t understand why they can’t do better. As my long-time spiritual mentor, Master Samwise, often said, “In any given time, place and circumstance, we will do what seems to make the most sense. We may be ignorant, or caught up in drama or trauma, delusional, or completely off the beam, but there is no better option for any of us in any given moment.”

Whatever we’re pinging off of in them is somehow a reflection of something unseen or unresolved within us. It doesn’t mean they aren’t foolish or stupid, or that we’re wrong, but it does mean there is more to it that we have to explore.

In the vernacular of recovery, whenever we point a finger at someone, there are three pointing back at us. As you and I often discuss, we turn back to our own inner work to see what’s amiss with us.

Remember, we are also doing the best we know how in that same time, place and circumstance. Maybe we can do better in the moment that follows, yet to think we can be different in any given moment is just not true.

Of course, sometimes the answer is we need to stop engaging with some people. Not out of judgment, rather in understanding they are just not our people.

Then we move on to the next adventure, because there is always another one.

C’s Response

I’m in love with this. It’s going to be my wallpaper. It’s the perfect reminder. ~C